Terrible Things
by InTheEndWeThinkOfHowItBegan
Summary: Sara Quin meets Tegan Quinn at a bar in downtown Vancouver. Quincest/Quinlove AU
1. Chapter 1

AN: This was up on my Tumblr. I was asked to post it here, so here it is. Enjoy. -LB

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Dear reader,

I'm not sure what made me decide to write this all down after all these years. I have been considering it for a long time, but I've never had the nerve to do it. I guess it's my nephew that made me finally want to write this out. He's the only person on this earth who knows the whole story, and he has always encouraged me to write it down. So now I'm going to try.

Now, I'll warn you reader. This is not a story with a happy ending. This is not a story of sacrifice and eternal commitment and lifelong joy. It's a story… well, it's a story. And the best way to tell the story is just to tell it. But remember that I warned you.

Sara Quin

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Chapter 1

This story really takes place over just a few weeks. They were some of the shortest and yet the very longest weeks of my life. They were days that have come to define me, days that changed me. Now, almost forty years later, they consume me. Therapists, psychoanalysts, doctors, and counselors have all told me to move on. But while I hate thinking about it, those weeks were the best weeks of my life.

It all started when I was twenty-three. I was working at a coffee shop in Vancouver. I didn't enjoy the job at all, but it paid the bills. When I wasn't working though, I was playing music. It was just me and a guitar, playing at small venues in and around Vancouver. Because it was just me, I knew I wouldn't be able to really do anything big, but I was okay with that. I just loved playing.

My favorite place to play was a little hole-in-the-wall bar called The Q, that was a ten minute walk from my little apartment in downtown Vancouver. I was good friends with the owner, Emy, who was not only the owner, but also one of two bartenders. She basically lived at The Q. We had become friends because I performed there at least once a week, besides hanging out there in my free time.

I had been in and out of relationships for years. I never made it more than three or four months in a relationship, because I always say the bad things that could happen. I was always afraid I'd get broken up with, or cheated on, or whatever. And that never sat well with any of my girlfriends. They always did end up leaving, and it was always my fault.

Being in love and finding the perfect relationship was all I could think about, though. Every song I wrote was about love or finding that one girl that would put all the others to shame, that one girl that would stick around.

And that's when I met her. It was on a Friday night at The Q. Emy had set up an open mic night, a night for different musicians to come and play a few songs. I had just finished playing a couple of my songs and was sitting at the bar, sipping a beer. I had noticed her while I was playing. She had been standing in the back next to a guitar case propped against the wall.

But when she stepped onto the stage, I couldn't take my eyes off her. Her brown hair was short, stopping just below her jaw line. And that jaw line. Fuck, it was perfect. Her chocolate brown eyes were warm and inviting, and when she met my gaze, a shiver ran down my spine. She looked away before I could, leaving me to continue staring. The more I looked at her, her small frame, her tattoos, her beautiful eyes, the more I realized that she was the most beautiful woman that I'd ever seen.

She played for about fifteen minutes, far too short in my opinion. Her voice was magnificent. It was a bit low for a woman, but it was smooth and easy to listen to. I didn't even pay attention to what she was singing, I just listened to her voice. When she was finished, everyone applauded. But I couldn't move. My eyes were locked on her.

"Hey, Bambi!" Emy shouted about two feet from my ear, jolting me back to myself.

"Huh?! What?" I stammered.

"You got a little deer-in-the-headlights for a while. What was that about?" She was grinning at me, and she jerked her head towards the woman who was stepping of the small stage. She raised her eyebrows at me questioningly.

I barely acknowledged her question. "Who is that?" I asked a little too breathlessly.

"That's Tegan Quinn. Two N's." She said. She was still grinning from ear to ear as she handed me another beer, putting my empty bottle behind the counter.

I didn't answer. I just watched her as she put away her guitar. A few people came up to her and shook her hand, no doubt complementing her singing. But I didn't move from my seat. I kept sipping my beer, unable to take my eyes off her.

After two more people had played, Tegan picked up her guitar and it looked like she was going to leave. Quickly, I waved Emy down. "Hey, Em! Ask her to come back and play tomorrow night."

"What the hell, Sara?" she said. "Why? You were supposed to play tomorrow. What's going on with you tonight?"

"Just do it, Emy! Quick, before she leaves!" I smacked her arm, and waved her towards the woman headed for the door.

"Hey, Tegan!" Emy called to her. I watched as Tegan walked over to the bar and spoke to Emy. I could tell Emy had convinced her to come back when they shook hands and Tegan smiled. When she smiled, I felt my knees go weak and my heart speed up. I was extremely happy that I was sitting, otherwise I might have fallen over.

I couldn't believe the effect this girl had on me. She had captivated me, and she had never even said a word to me. When she walked out, I let out a breath that I hadn't realized I was holding. As Emy walked back toward me with a scowl on her face, I knew I would have to explain myself to her.

"I had to see her again, Emy," I said before she could ask any questions. "I had to."

"You've really gone off the deep end, Sara," she laughed, shaking her head. "You're lucky I love you so much."

"I love you too, Em," I said grinning. "I should get home," I said. I paid her, and left a generous tip. "For helping me out," I said.

The ten minute walk home seemed much short, I was so caught up in thinking about this girl Tegan. I tried to figure out how she had managed to capture my thoughts so fast. I wasn't sure if it was her voice, her shockingly good looks, or the easy confidence that I could easily see in her. The way she held herself, the way she talked, it all screamed "I am sure of who I am." And that was attractive to me, because I was so unsure of who I was.

As I lay in bed trying to recall every detail of her face, I wondered how the hell I was going to get up the courage to talk to her tomorrow night.


	2. Chapter 2

When I woke up the next morning, I was already trying to decide what I was going to wear to The Q that night. I had to muddle through work, even though I could barely concentrate. I swear, I messed up at least ten drink orders that Saturday. I couldn't think of anything except how I was going to talk to Tegan.

When I finally got home, it took me half an hour just to pick an outfit. I can still remember what I wore. I kept it simple, with just a pair of dark blue skinny jeans and blue and white flannel. I didn't want Tegan to think that I dressed up to come see her play a last minute gig that I'm pretty sure she knew I set up.

I opted to walk to The Q as usual. When I got there, they weren't as many people as there had been the night before. I was happy about that, because it meant I could sit at the bar and not have to stand conspicuously while I watched Tegan. I chose a seat that faced the makeshift stage set up in the back corner of the room. Tegan wasn't even there yet. I was happy, because that way I could get a couple drinks into my system before I saw her.

Emy smiled broadly when she saw me sit down. "Hey, Sare," she said mischievously. "You ready for the show?" She winked at me knowingly.

I rolled my eyes. "Shut up and get me a beer, Em."

I smiled at her when she brought it over. "Hey, thanks for setting this up. I.. I don't know," I stuttered. "There's something about her. I don't know what it is, but I can't stay away from it. I messed up so many drinks today, Em! Me! The perfectionist, screwed up people's orders for the first time since I started!"

Emy laughed out loud. "Damn, Sara. She's really got a hold of you, huh? Just don't let her get in your pants the first night, okay, hun?" She winked again, and walked away before I could say anything.

I was blushing from her comment when I turned to check the door. Just as I did, Tegan walked in. I wasn't sure if my heart was going to stop beating or if it was trying to pound its way out of my chest and into hers. My hands started shaking, and my pulse sped up. And Tegan hadn't even met my eyes.

_Fuck,_ I thought to myself._ If this is how I get just from seeing her, I might pass out if I try to talk to her._

I couldn't take my eyes off her. She was wear a pair of tight black skinny jeans, a black and white striped t-shirt, and a simple black leather jacket. She carried her guitar to the stage and started talking to the sound guy. Once she was set up, she sat down on a bar stool and started to play.

Again, I was amazed by her voice. It was raspy and rich, full and vibrant. She sang with such passion that some of her songs almost drove me to tears. And the entire time, I never took my eyes off her. She met my gaze once or twice, but swept by me like I was just another crowd member. I had to remind myself that that was exactly what I was to her, just another crowd member.

As the last chord sang out on her final song almost an hour and a half later, she finally met my gaze. She was grinning, her eyes sparkling even though there wasn't much light I the bar. She licked her bottom lip and pulled it into her mouth with her teeth. My knees went weak, but I didn't break her stare. I felt like I was looking into her eyes for an eternity. She winked at me, then looked away, giving me a chance to catch my breath.

It wasn't until then that I realized Emy had been staring at me. Her jaw hung open and she glanced between Tegan and I. I gulped and looked at her. "What?" I asked, my voice cracking slightly.

Emy closed her mouth and chuckled. "Could you eye fuck her a little more obviously?" she asked.

I gasped. "Emy! Shut the fuck up!"

"Dude, chill!" she laughed. "You should have seen yourself! You might as well have asked her to come over and shove her tongue down your throat with the way you were looking at her!"

I could feel heat rising to my face, but also gathering somewhere lower. "Shut up, Emy," I repeated. "I don't even know her."

"Well, you better get to know her. Cause I'm pretty sure she wants to get to know you."

I stood up abruptly and headed for the bathroom. I needed a moment. I looked at myself in the dirty mirror hanging above the sink. _Pull it together, Quin!_ I thought. _You gotta pull it together_. I was sure Emy was right. I need to chill with the staring or Tegan was going to think I was some kind of creep. Hell, she didn't even know my name.

I turned on the faucet and splashed some cold water on my face. I had to chill, and getting all flustered and nervous was not the way to make a good first impression. I put my shoulders back, pushed my bangs behind my ear, smoothed my shirt, and walked back out into the bar.

I stopped and looked around. I didn't see Tegan near the stage, and after looking I couldn't see her anywhere. My heart dropped a bit, but I reminded myself that it was possible she just took her guitar to her car or something and would be back in. If I missed my chance to talk to her because I was in the bathroom, I thought I might cry.

I slumped down in my seat, and I threw back the rest of my beer, which was almost half full. AS soon as I set it back down on the bar, I felt someone's hot breath against my ear. I shuddered as a rugged voice whispered in my ear, "Is this seat taken?"

I knew immediately who it was. Tegan's was a voice I would never forget. I shook my head and she sat down, smirking at me. She waved to Emy, who motioned that she'd be over shortly. I gulped and closed my eyes for a moment, still feeling Tegan's breath. I looked over at her and smiled, trying not to look as taken aback as I was.

Tegan didn't say anything until Emy came to get her drink, at which point she ordered a tequila. "And another beer for Sara," she said. _How the hell does she know my name?_ I wondered but was too speechless to ask. Emy grinned and poured Tegan's drink, then passed me another beer. Emy winked at me yet again, and I sensed maybe she had told Tegan who I was.

Tegan sipped on her drink, all the while looking me over. It was a little disconcerting, but I was still too flustered by Tegan's approach to say anything.

"Can I tell you something, Sara?" Tegan asked abruptly.

"Uh… Um, yeah, sure," I stuttered. This woman was utterly confusing, and I didn't know what to make of her at that point.

"I couldn't help but notice you staring at me," she said, he voice low. "The whole time I played, your eyes were glued to me."

I chuckled and couldn't help but smile at her. She matched my smile with her own, and I thought to myself that hers was a smile I could get used to waking up to.

"I know I shouldn't say this," she said, her voice more serious than I would have liked. "But I really believe…. Well, I can tell by your eyes that you're in love with me."


End file.
